There can be often nothing more difficult for a separated parent than hearing your children talk about mummy or daddy’s new partner. You are likely to experience a range of emotions from fear to anger and upset. You may feel it's hard enough that you have to share child contact with your ex, and now someone else is getting to spend precious time with them as well. Where your partner has left because of an affair this makes the situation even more difficult.
Be positive, for yourself and your children
Unless you have serious welfare and safety concerns, there is little you can legally do to stop your children seeing whoever the other parent chooses for them to see. Your other option therefore is to deal with the situation in a positive way for your own personal sake and for the sake of the children.
Although the situation may not feel fair for you, the most important thing is to focus on helping your children cope with the situation, allowing them to feel it's OK with spending time with mummy or daddy’s new partner and to reassure them that they only have one mummy or daddy, whoever their mummy or daddy may also love.
5 reasons why you should accept your ex's new partner
Choose to accept your ex’s new partner because:
- Your children should not feel guilty about who they spend time with.
- Your children should be able to build a positive relationship with new people in their lives.
- Establishing a civil relationship with your ex’s new partner will help with communication and setting boundaries.
- Establishing a civil relationship with your ex’s new partner will improve co-parenting with your ex.
- Children often benefit from other adults in their lives who care about them and can offer different guidance and experiences
What can you do if you can't talk to your ex?
If you are having difficulties talking to your ex about introducing new partners to your children, you can get help from a Family Mediator. They will help you to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties and in the best interests of your children.
Call 0113 320 2288 to speak to the family mediation team.